It has been a busy few days while getting everything set up with hospice and 24-hour care. We have met (either on the phone or in person): the social worker, two intake nurses, the pain management doctor, our hospice manager, and a spiritual counselor who we were told is Buddhist and doesn’t expect James to be religious at all.

Our daytime health aide started on Monday and the same man was here the last 3 days. He has been wonderful and is very patient and kind with James. It’s a 12-hour shift, so we can’t have him every day due to overtime rules. I haven’t figured out if I can get around that by paying extra.

We had to bump up James’s pain medication, so he is sleepy a lot of the day. He also is less clear mentally at times and a lot weaker physically. An aide holds onto him when he moves around the apartment with a cane or rollie walker. His appetite is greatly reduced, and the only time he eats a full meal is when he has oatmeal at breakfast. He sometimes has sweets with his coffee. Today I made him a radicchio salad with parsley and shallots to go with a savory croissant from a bakery, but he didn’t want to eat much of either.

Since January, he hasn’t been able to lie flat due to spinal metastases. Until today, at home he slept in mid-century modern adjustable sedan chair. No Lazy Boy for James Wagner! Yesterday our friend William disassembled the bed in the front bedroom and wrapped the mattress for disposal. The bedframe is now in the “north wing” as we call the newer part of our apartment. A porter from our building plus our night aide took out the mattress this morning and an hour later a hospital bed arrived. I was very happy that we were able to get him in the bed and comfortable. He almost immediately fell asleep at 7:30pm and is still asleep now.

We continue to have regular visitors and welcome as many as possible. James usually perks up when they’re here.

Our friend Paddy is now coordinating visitors for me. Let me know if I need to make a text or email introduction.