James was in the hospital for a week in April due to cancerous lesions in his spine. He was there for pain management and a diagnosis of the cancer.

He has a higher pain threshold than anyone I’ve ever met. By March, he was in so much pain he started having trouble leaving the apartment or doing any tasks in the apartment. We couldn’t get an appointment with a pain management doctor for over a month, and in NY State doctors without that certification are limited in what they can prescribe. On April 15 we went to the emergency room to get him admitted. We were very fortunate that his niece Mary Jo, who is a former ER doctor, flew in while we were still in the ER to help work with the doctors. She stayed over a week until he was released.

We now know that his cancer is metastatic bladder cancer that has spread to his bones. The good news is that treatments are available that didn’t exist 2-3 years ago. He began a weekly treatment of chemo- and immunotherapy last week. He will also receive radiation treatment of the spine for pain.

I have been incredibly lucky with my colleagues at work. They said we can keep my erratic schedule within the team, with no need to talk with HR about time off unless we get to the point of family leave.